No. 1, June 9-22, 1967
Joey Goldfard: Using Astrology
p 5

Astrology simply is a language, and it is made up of symbols that we have been working on as long as we've been to help ourselves understand ourselves. Astrology is a tool, and like anything else we can only make use of it to the extent that we ARE. It amazes me to think about the tools that we have created and what I would like to tell you is how hard it is to write and still stay yourself and not become another person that you only become when you write. I'm trying to write this as if I was talking to each of you personally and it is damn hard. I've written this over and over trying not to tell a lie and when one sneaks in it throws off the sentences after it, and then I have to see that I have been lying and try to find the source and then try to get closer to ME and say it again without telling a lie. What do I mean by telling a lie — it's hard to explain. — I sure do feel it, but to put it in words — it's like saying "as man evolves so do his tools" — God — I sure wouldn't say that, so where did it come from? It was a truth in what it said, but it wasn't ME who wrote it — and you may be thinking, as it has just crossed my mind, what does it matter? It expresses what I wanted to say, but it's not ME and it feels like a lie and lying has become very important to me and the I Ching says don't work on overcoming an evil, work on a positive thing so that the evil will be suffocated. Is this making any sense — let's see, I'll read it over and be back in a minute — I'll read it again. Well I'm confused — take a hit on a cigarette and try again

Explaining, how come I'm explaining — well it's honest to explain — it feels good — and I'm stopped again. I know a lot, just ask me something; I guess I left some thoughts out — that doesn't really follow. I hope you're enjoying this mad attempt to tell the truth — I hope you're learning something from it — I am. I'm being pretty loose aren't I? Have I earned the right to this much, freedom — I'm not sure. I can show you six pages of trying to tell you some universal truths that I have learned, but it has lead to this: I know that you can't have freedom — real freedom — without fulfilling Saturn — who rules things like discipline, responsibility, limitation, perserverance, UHUH there's some astrology, good, and for freedom I could have said Uranus. You see Astrology is a language and I know it, it's part of my vocabulary and it helps me relate to people with less words and more understanding if the — stopped — light another cigarette, and I did — I wonder about this kind of writing — is it legal. The truth hasn't been for God knows how long — is that a pun — this is starting to be fun, and that rhymed whats going on. Stopped to reread — looked out window scattered, yes — you see I am a Gemini, and that is its worst fault but I w . . . , how do you spell w . . . , I'll find out later. You see I left high school because I felt it didn't have anything I wanted to learn. I have Saturn in Gemini conjunct my Sun — that's one of it's meanings. The finest astrologer in the world told me that a person with Saturn in Gemini or in the Third House (the) house of Gemini) has their formal education interrupted but is an eternal student — I'm one of them. That doesn't mean that if you don't have that aspect you're not an eternal student, there can be other things in your chart that can make that happen. but not many. Most people stop growing before thirty; astrologically this is explained by — at around the ages of twenty eight to thirty Saturn () has had a chance to move through your whole chart, all twelve houses, and whatever house is in is where your strongest developing should be taking place; so by going through each house and having come back to it's natal position, a home for the soul should have been made. If it hasn't by then — you'll start to get old, you start dying; the soul wants a home and it's up to you to get out of the way and give it room. Hello — I'm getting sleeping but I don't feel like I'm done yet — this writing starts to make sense now — by being honest and trying to tell the truth about how hard it is to stay honest I've told you some things about astrology, which is why I've been working at this for three days . . . here goes . . . when "three days" came up my mind questioned it — it doubted whether that was good to say . . . WHY — I'm thinking — wait a minute . . .

The Negative Gemini Mind: you'll never find the answer that way — if you come up with some explanation it will only be one you thought up.

The Positive Gemini Mind: but the mind is here to explain feelings isn't it?

The Soul: Yes, so don't use that "thought up" one to cop out with. Light another cigarette — trying — I guess some insecurity in me didn't want to let you know how hard it is to organize my mind — three days — god I knew inside that I wanted to tell you but to get it down had become a job. I have Neptune trine Mercury which means the inspiration is there but Neptune has nothing to do with form, with concrete manifestation, that takes and hes the one I have to develop, and I'm doing it working on this for three days HAS developed more in me . . . in typing this over to give to Wayne to give to the printer I've changed many things and changed them back again — Gemini is mutable and that means, for one thing, indecisive — thats me — everything keeps changing and I've learned thats the only LAW; so that makes me feel better — but the ending I wrote was good — I'd like to use it but I don't like it any more — but its good — so what

Joey Goldfarb