"ALL the News Before It Happens..."
Here it is at last folks, Avatar No. 7. We hope you like it, getting it to you is becoming more of an adventure with each issue. If you happen to have a copy of the last issue in your possession I suggest that you get rid of it real quick because you are guilty of being in possession of stolen property, let me tell you why. Because of our chronic financial troubles we had gotten a little behind with our print bill, as a matter of fact quite a long way behind, but our printer was a good chap & he printed it anyway. Our printer by the way is located in Worcester Mass, on the pike to New York. The thing got finished on a Thursday so Brian took about a third of the press run from the press on Thursday night to distribute in New York on Friday. Imagine our surprise when the next day we start getting phone calls from the financial controller of the press saying that we had stolen the papers, that we were guilty of Grand Larceny (stealing stuff with a nominal value of more than five hundred bucks) and even worse, carting Stolen Goods across State Lines, a Federal offense! We were astonished. Of course we didn't have the money to pay the printer at that time but in our innocence, & knowing that the lord looks after his own we knew that all would be well. Besides, believe it or not we actually think that what we are printing is actually worth printing, simpletons that we are. So even though we didn't mean to steal the papers from the press, it did become theft when the printer said it was. Undaunted by this slur on our characters we went back to Boston Sunday to try to rake up the money, unsuccessfully. So to our great regret the American Colony Press who for more than a year has done excellent printing for us and who stood by us through more than sixty obscenity busts are no longer our printers for want of a few lousy pennies, well, hundreds of dollars, what's the difference it's sad but that is the way things are. Let me tell you, things got pretty crazy, I really wouldn't have been surprised if we had got busted, a few weeks ago some big plainclothes cops burst into our loft on Attorney Street waving their billfolds shouting 'We're Cops! We're Cops!' somewhat unnecessarily, adding 'This is not a Bust!' I woke from my usual heavy slumber thinking that it was all over but no, turns out there was somebody next door who did his exercises on getting up in the morning naked and somebody in the co-op apartment buildings watching the thing every morning through binoculars from a half mile away got uptight and called the cops. Anyway, it means we have a new printer. They say you don't have any friends when your down and out well one and all let me tell you it's not true our good friends at Liberation News Service are going to print this for love and not for money. It's a small press, our old one was huge, printing onto giant rolls of paper and spitting out a finished magazine at the rate of two thousand a minute. The LNS press is a baby printing onto little sheets of paper so I'm sure that between now and when you read this many odd things will happen. Looks like we'll be doing negatives at EVO, and binding in Vermont. Be sure to get the next issue and discover this and other priceless and incredibly interesting pieces of information. Dear and valued subscribers, when we bravely promised you a sparkling issue every two weeks we really meant it, we still do so meanwhile we'll euphemistically say we are on a monthly schedule for the summer, actually we'll print every time we can get up enough money to do it. Don't worry, we promised you 26 issues, you'll get 'em.