Boston Avatar
Volume II, No. 1
no date [June 1, 1968], [p. 8]

Dear Mel,

When the first issue of the AVATAR was printed, I was working at American Colony Press. I admired the hippy movement because of what I thought it was trying to do. In spirit, l was a hippy. And in truth, I held the AVATAR in the highest awe.

It has been a long time since I read an entire AVATAR, cover to cover. I read some news, and most of what you have to say. I had my own hang-ups, and almost everything you attacked was in me. Of course I was running. For 21 years I ran. I am not running anymore.

I came to Boston a little over two months ago, to find acceptance with AVATAR, to work with them. I did not know that internal conflicts had begun. I was not surprised to find that the people of the AVATAR were also human, but I found that I had as much to teach ANYONE at the AVATAR as they had to teach me.

So now the nitty-gritty. Only yesterday was I able to catch a glimpse of the truth of the conflict. I have been looking at the untruths, the hesitancy, the secrecy, and the put-ons for a month, and yesterday, the encounter with Foxy and the type balls brought some true feelings out and I was there to see them. I have heard one side of the story, the valley side. Now I would like to hear the hill side.

I have much truth and enlightenment to offer, and I shall not discriminate as to who I shall offer it to, but I wish to become a part of the community which can teach me most. I am not seeking to relieve myself of the burden of seeking. I am seeking teachers in the development of my skills, not of my truths. I am not claiming my truths to be different from those of all people, except in effects. I will accept truths that others offer me, and I will offer mine. I have taken back issues of the paper from the office, and am in the process of finding the root of the conflicts in which you are now involved. To myself and to others, I speak of truth and fear; you speak of love and hate. Not everyone knows that they are the same. Not everyone knows that both will always exist in conflict; yes, conflict. You would say that you have no conflict, that you hate, and that door of hate opens to love, and that it happens immediately. The truth I face immediately today, I ran from yesterday. The wall of fear which I tear down tomorrow stands today. And as soon as I tear it down, it begins to rebuild itself. And so, I must struggle against old fears as well as new. And as time goes on, I become stronger. That is what's in front of me. And this is MORE.

I ask no more of others than I ask of myself. And so, I could have come to your house and spoken with you. I have chosen instead to ask you to print this Ietter, and your reply, so that all people may learn truth, not only from your words, but from your example as well. Does this mean I doubt you? Doubt is the way of fear. Questioning is the way of truth, of MORE.

(Answer my question, Mel Lyman, and I shall come speak with you; otherwise, I shall come to teach you. I love you.)

Barry Philip King


Dear Barry,

So you want to know the source of the conflict, it's called the human heart and it's the only process by which it realizes growth, conflict makes the heart bigger m'boy, it's as simple as that. Doubt, fear, hate, guilt, they all undo to REDO. To hope for growth without pain is a dream, to seek progress without conflict is impossible for conflict is the RULE of progress. Only that which can be divided can realize a greater unity, you will ALWAYS eventually have to lose that which you love the most, and it will ALWAYS hurt to lose it, and there will ALWAYS be a million doubts and fears to follow, and if you've courage enough to see it through, to lose it totally and irrevocably, then you'll gain, in the end, more than you have lost in the beginning. Little people don't know this law, they cling to what little they have until they BECOME just that, they wall themselves off from the unknown with their few precious trifles and the unknown becomes the unattainable and that is the end of life.

If you're coming up to teach me, be prepared to lose your knowledge, I devour all concepts of living in the brilliant immediacy of life NOW. In fact, everything I've written here is a damn lie....

Love, Mel